Was our Doctor doing something wrong? I did not know the answer. So we went out of state to get a second opinion. The Doctor told us that we had a good chance of getting pregnant. So we started to remain positive. We decided we would give our Doctor one more chance.
Cycle 3 was going to be different. Our Doctor decided to be a little more aggressive in his approach. He began the process a month early with a massive injection of Lupron to suppress my wife's ovaries and to relax her endometriosis. This injection made my wife menapausal. Hot flashes and swings in emotions, but she was a trooper.
We decided to go on a vacation and get away before we began. We decided two weeks of R&R would do the trick. When we got back the injections began. The protocol was the same as the first one, but this time the dosages changed.
My wife still produced her standard thirteen eggs. This time seven fertilized and we transferred four 8 cell embryos on day 3. The Doctor felt that maybe the embryos would do better inside the uterus than in a petrie dish.
Afterwards my wife elected to take a blood thinner called Lovenox to prevent her body from rejecting the embryos.
We waited 10 days then on the Friday before we were to take our Beta my wife took a home pregnancy test and got a negative. I began to tell her it was to early. We tried to enjoy the weekend, but it was devastating news.
That Sunday night my wife was nausea and her breast were tender. She did not think anything of it and on Monday morning the symptoms were gone.
Tuesday we woke up and I convinced my wife to take a home pregnancy test. Being the male I had no idea how to do a test. I dropped some urine on the test zone and watched. Nothing happened so I walked over to my wife and told her that I was sorry and it was negative.
Then I returned to look at the stick and there was a line in the test area indicating it was positive.
I began to well up tears and cry. It was a positive. Were we pregnant? Later that day my wife went and had a Beta test. It returned a 66. The clinic indicated she is pregnant. We still can't believe it. Then on that Friday she returned for another beta and got back a 366.
After three failed cycles we got a positive pregnancy test!
My wife went for another Beta today, I am at work waiting on the numbers.
There is hope if you fail. Never give up. It is a grueling process, but the role of the husband is to support.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Frozen Cycle
Well after two failed fresh cycles, we figured we would try a frozen cycle.
It was kinda cool to think that I had potential kids sitting in a freezer..
We transferred three frozen embryos, with a 40% success rate.
We decided to do a forzen transfer to relax my wife's body. This cycle required way more shots after the transfer. Shots of progesterone that made her feel pregnancy symptoms from day one.
This really go our hope up. We figured our third time was the charm....
Two weeks later we got a negative. We were crushed...
Now I began to think it was not going to work.
It was kinda cool to think that I had potential kids sitting in a freezer..
We transferred three frozen embryos, with a 40% success rate.
We decided to do a forzen transfer to relax my wife's body. This cycle required way more shots after the transfer. Shots of progesterone that made her feel pregnancy symptoms from day one.
This really go our hope up. We figured our third time was the charm....
Two weeks later we got a negative. We were crushed...
Now I began to think it was not going to work.
Cycle 2
As a husband going through IVF the only thing that I could think for the next cycle was that I was on the wrong side of the coin. I figured I did not get lucky. I figured that this time I would catch my break. So, I wanted to be strong and optimistic for my wife.
So we went back to the Doctor's office looking for an explanation. Why did it fail? The Doctor was shocked to see us. He told me that my wife was young and he expected that she would succeed. He said that there are two protocols he follows and we would do the alternate protocol this time.
We discussed the embryo quality and why it did not work... I left unfulfilled. Why me? Why did it not work? I kept telling myself it was going to work this time.
We repeated the same protocol with different drugs this time, and went for the retrieval. However, this time we chose not to tell any of our friends or family. We figured it might be easier than having to discuss it with so many people.
We returned for the Day 5 transfer and the embryologist came in to talk about our embryos. She was not so thrilled with the way they turned out. This crushed my wife. We transferred three embryos and again got a negative test...
This was horrible, because now my wife started to research adotption, donor eggs and surrogacy. She apologized for being defective...
I felt even worse. I tried to make it better but I failed over and over again. What else was there to do. I told her we will do it again. That there was nothing else but to try until they say that there is no hope.
I also told her on the bright side we have 5 forzen embryos. Maybe we can transfer those...
We will see what the Doctor has to say. In the meantime, it is the summer time. We have fun stuff to do and lets try to enjoy it while the weather is nice.
I told my wife that she will be a mother. I told her to never give up. I told her that I was going to make this happen...
The crushing news of two failed cycles made me feel that this was not luck anymore. That we maybe have something wrong...
I now began to look forward to what the Doctor had to say regarding this disappointing cycle.
So we went back to the Doctor's office looking for an explanation. Why did it fail? The Doctor was shocked to see us. He told me that my wife was young and he expected that she would succeed. He said that there are two protocols he follows and we would do the alternate protocol this time.
We discussed the embryo quality and why it did not work... I left unfulfilled. Why me? Why did it not work? I kept telling myself it was going to work this time.
We repeated the same protocol with different drugs this time, and went for the retrieval. However, this time we chose not to tell any of our friends or family. We figured it might be easier than having to discuss it with so many people.
We returned for the Day 5 transfer and the embryologist came in to talk about our embryos. She was not so thrilled with the way they turned out. This crushed my wife. We transferred three embryos and again got a negative test...
This was horrible, because now my wife started to research adotption, donor eggs and surrogacy. She apologized for being defective...
I felt even worse. I tried to make it better but I failed over and over again. What else was there to do. I told her we will do it again. That there was nothing else but to try until they say that there is no hope.
I also told her on the bright side we have 5 forzen embryos. Maybe we can transfer those...
We will see what the Doctor has to say. In the meantime, it is the summer time. We have fun stuff to do and lets try to enjoy it while the weather is nice.
I told my wife that she will be a mother. I told her to never give up. I told her that I was going to make this happen...
The crushing news of two failed cycles made me feel that this was not luck anymore. That we maybe have something wrong...
I now began to look forward to what the Doctor had to say regarding this disappointing cycle.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Cycle Number 1
I figured fertility treatments would be an easy process for me. Not much that I would be required to do. I was just hoping that I would have enough insurance to cover the expenses.
It was a sunny morning when my wife made our first appointment. We sat down and met with our Doctor (in the world of IVF he is a Reproductive Endocrinologist). He was a very nice and gentle man, with a great practice. He looked at my wife and I, and was a straight shooter. He asked us a little bit about ourselves and told us that we would could do artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization.
Artifical insemination? I asked... Why would we need that? He explained that it is because sometimes sperm has a low motility rate and does not swim strong enough to meet the egg for conception. I began to think to myself, I should have paid better attention in my High School Sex Ed class. So, I nodded and asked how do we determine if there is a low motility rate. He told me that we can analyze my sperm after our consultation.
I could not get the idea out of my head of analyzing my sperm. What did he mean by that? How were they going to analyze my sperm. I then drifted back and the RE started to discuss the IVF process. He said if we were his children he would tell us to do IVF. So, we said lets do IVF....
Now I want to tell you what IVF means from the male perspective...
The first thing I had do that at first made me feel weird, but afterwards I got a good laugh. You a probably wondering what I had to do. I had to go into a room an ejaculate into a cup. The weird part is doing it in a Doctors office. I would have never imagined in a million years I would watch porn, not say that I have never watched porn before, and ejaculate in a cup in a Doctor's office. I did it. I was nervous and it took a while but I came out a little dishelved and smiled at my wife and we got a good laugh.
Three days later we got our results and my sperm was fine and her uterus was fine minus the endotmetriosis. At that point we opted for IVF.
After that I tried not to think about it. I did a little research on the internet, but there was really nothing from a male perspective. I always read posts about a Darling Husband, but what would I need to do to be a good husband. I really had no idea.
Reality hit when a huge box containing syringes and medicene arrived at my house. What was even worst is that I had to give my wife injections everyday. I would watch her wince in pain. These injections lasted 4 weeks, and then the process really begins. Two days before the retrieval my wife was injected with the trigger shot.
The retrieval.... It is a weird day. It is the first time I went to the waiting room for this procedure. There are a bunch of couples either looking to talk to you or they are trying to avoid eye contact. Being our first procedure, I was not ready to make friends.
The procedure was painful for my wife. It was actually relieving for me. I had not been able to ejaculate for three days. I had to build up a reserve. I again went in the Husband's room and did my job....
After we were leaving they told us they would let us know if it was going to be a three day or a five day transfer. So what was going on now... They are fertilizing the eggs with my sperm to make an embryo...
Again this is where the tricky part for me came in... I did not know what to root for. I rooted for 5 days and got a 5 day. On day 5 we headed back to the IVF center. I was so excited that it was finally here. The wait was killing me. We decided to transfer two 5 day embryos. I got all suited up in medical gear and I watched the Doctor inject the embryos in my wife's uterus. I was in awe. I kept thinking wow. I just made a baby. I am going to be a father...
Afterwards my wife got dressed we left and began our grueling two week wait. I think I did not sleep. I tossed and turned every night. However, I was fine compared to my wife. She was a nervous wreck. However, things did not look good. on the Sunday before our pregnancy test my wife began to spot. She started to cry. What was I going to to do. I quickly began to research what this meant and how I could put a positive spin on the situation. I tried to do everything. I told her it was implantation bleeding and that it is possible to bleed a little during pregnancy. I had her feeling a little better, but then she got the ill fated phone call....
It was negaitve......
I was crushed. I began to well up tears in my eyes. I could not take the devastation. However, my wife was worst. At that moment I began to shut down and try to lift my wife back up. She is my everything and it was more important to see her happy than for me to be sad. So I never really dealt with my own emotions. I just began to figure out what was the next step. How to get back on the horse. How to believe that we were just on the wrong side of the coin.
I began reading statistics of success rates and failures. I pointed out how it is going to work next time. How we are going to make an appointment and we will start doing it again.
I needed to get my wife back on her feet. The following weekend after our crushing news, I went to a breeder and got my wife a puppy.
What a joy ful moment that was bringing him home and making him a part of our family. I gave her a psuedo baby and began a family for us. At least there was a family that was begining. My wife, myself and our dog.
With our puppy, my wife finally smiled again and I told her things are going to be ok. I told her I loved her and we will make this work.
We scheduled our appointment and waited until then....
It was a sunny morning when my wife made our first appointment. We sat down and met with our Doctor (in the world of IVF he is a Reproductive Endocrinologist). He was a very nice and gentle man, with a great practice. He looked at my wife and I, and was a straight shooter. He asked us a little bit about ourselves and told us that we would could do artificial insemination or in vitro fertilization.
Artifical insemination? I asked... Why would we need that? He explained that it is because sometimes sperm has a low motility rate and does not swim strong enough to meet the egg for conception. I began to think to myself, I should have paid better attention in my High School Sex Ed class. So, I nodded and asked how do we determine if there is a low motility rate. He told me that we can analyze my sperm after our consultation.
I could not get the idea out of my head of analyzing my sperm. What did he mean by that? How were they going to analyze my sperm. I then drifted back and the RE started to discuss the IVF process. He said if we were his children he would tell us to do IVF. So, we said lets do IVF....
Now I want to tell you what IVF means from the male perspective...
The first thing I had do that at first made me feel weird, but afterwards I got a good laugh. You a probably wondering what I had to do. I had to go into a room an ejaculate into a cup. The weird part is doing it in a Doctors office. I would have never imagined in a million years I would watch porn, not say that I have never watched porn before, and ejaculate in a cup in a Doctor's office. I did it. I was nervous and it took a while but I came out a little dishelved and smiled at my wife and we got a good laugh.
Three days later we got our results and my sperm was fine and her uterus was fine minus the endotmetriosis. At that point we opted for IVF.
After that I tried not to think about it. I did a little research on the internet, but there was really nothing from a male perspective. I always read posts about a Darling Husband, but what would I need to do to be a good husband. I really had no idea.
Reality hit when a huge box containing syringes and medicene arrived at my house. What was even worst is that I had to give my wife injections everyday. I would watch her wince in pain. These injections lasted 4 weeks, and then the process really begins. Two days before the retrieval my wife was injected with the trigger shot.
The retrieval.... It is a weird day. It is the first time I went to the waiting room for this procedure. There are a bunch of couples either looking to talk to you or they are trying to avoid eye contact. Being our first procedure, I was not ready to make friends.
The procedure was painful for my wife. It was actually relieving for me. I had not been able to ejaculate for three days. I had to build up a reserve. I again went in the Husband's room and did my job....
After we were leaving they told us they would let us know if it was going to be a three day or a five day transfer. So what was going on now... They are fertilizing the eggs with my sperm to make an embryo...
Again this is where the tricky part for me came in... I did not know what to root for. I rooted for 5 days and got a 5 day. On day 5 we headed back to the IVF center. I was so excited that it was finally here. The wait was killing me. We decided to transfer two 5 day embryos. I got all suited up in medical gear and I watched the Doctor inject the embryos in my wife's uterus. I was in awe. I kept thinking wow. I just made a baby. I am going to be a father...
Afterwards my wife got dressed we left and began our grueling two week wait. I think I did not sleep. I tossed and turned every night. However, I was fine compared to my wife. She was a nervous wreck. However, things did not look good. on the Sunday before our pregnancy test my wife began to spot. She started to cry. What was I going to to do. I quickly began to research what this meant and how I could put a positive spin on the situation. I tried to do everything. I told her it was implantation bleeding and that it is possible to bleed a little during pregnancy. I had her feeling a little better, but then she got the ill fated phone call....
It was negaitve......
I was crushed. I began to well up tears in my eyes. I could not take the devastation. However, my wife was worst. At that moment I began to shut down and try to lift my wife back up. She is my everything and it was more important to see her happy than for me to be sad. So I never really dealt with my own emotions. I just began to figure out what was the next step. How to get back on the horse. How to believe that we were just on the wrong side of the coin.
I began reading statistics of success rates and failures. I pointed out how it is going to work next time. How we are going to make an appointment and we will start doing it again.
I needed to get my wife back on her feet. The following weekend after our crushing news, I went to a breeder and got my wife a puppy.
What a joy ful moment that was bringing him home and making him a part of our family. I gave her a psuedo baby and began a family for us. At least there was a family that was begining. My wife, myself and our dog.
With our puppy, my wife finally smiled again and I told her things are going to be ok. I told her I loved her and we will make this work.
We scheduled our appointment and waited until then....
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Beginning
I hit the jackpot. I met the girl of my dreams. The most loving and beautiful person inside and out. We started dating and on the second date I knew she was the one. After six months of dating I asked my father inlaw for her hand in marriage. 18 months later it was a done deal. We were living a great newlywed life. We had a beautiful one bed room condo in a major metropolitan city. We had great jobs and were making great money. Things could not have been better. I was living my dream. However, it felt like it was time for more...
Was it time to get a dog? Was it time to move to a new place? Was it time to start a family? Or all of the above.
I think at first I was content with getting a new place and maybe a dog. I figured kids would come down the road. I figrued it would be fun trying to make a baby. How could I complain? Everything seemed to move in motion. We sold the place and moved to a bigger place, but we skipped the dog and started to try for a family. That however did not go to plan. My wife started experiencing intense adominal cramps and discovered she had endometriosis.
Endometriosis was causing the severe cramps and discomfort, and it was also hindering our chances to become pregnant. So, we decided to try to work with a Reproductive specialist and try to solve our problem. We made our first appointment and sat down and discussed my wife's condition. He explained to us what endometriosis does and how it affects our chances of conceiving. He explained that with In Vitro Fertilization we can get around the endometriosis issue. So we opted for IVF.
IVF is not a simple process. It really takes an emotional toll on a married couple. This blog is going to chronicle my experiences through IVF. Thank you for reading...
Was it time to get a dog? Was it time to move to a new place? Was it time to start a family? Or all of the above.
I think at first I was content with getting a new place and maybe a dog. I figured kids would come down the road. I figrued it would be fun trying to make a baby. How could I complain? Everything seemed to move in motion. We sold the place and moved to a bigger place, but we skipped the dog and started to try for a family. That however did not go to plan. My wife started experiencing intense adominal cramps and discovered she had endometriosis.
Endometriosis was causing the severe cramps and discomfort, and it was also hindering our chances to become pregnant. So, we decided to try to work with a Reproductive specialist and try to solve our problem. We made our first appointment and sat down and discussed my wife's condition. He explained to us what endometriosis does and how it affects our chances of conceiving. He explained that with In Vitro Fertilization we can get around the endometriosis issue. So we opted for IVF.
IVF is not a simple process. It really takes an emotional toll on a married couple. This blog is going to chronicle my experiences through IVF. Thank you for reading...
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